January 2016 came and went, with my sudden realization that I had not bothered to write a single blog or note since earlier in 2015. I casually browsed my non-interactive website, frowning at the low stats (what else did I expect?).
It wasn’t like I did not have the time.
Sure, school catches up with you, work is steady, and the needs of your family and friends should be priority in your life. For whatever reason, however, I seemed to let all of that…and more…stop me from writing.
Well…maybe it was something more.
I keep a personal journal in my room, and with it I record my Bible study notes, my prayers with God, my thoughts, my feelings, my vents, my frustrations…everything I go through, with little thought to how it sounds or looks. Because I know that it is highly unlikely this journal will be published to the world, or passed around my community.
So when I transferred ‘pouring out my heart’ to the internet, it was like a slap in the face when it suddenly occurred to me that I was sharing a lot of personal information to the internet world. I have nothing to hide – at least I told myself that – and yet I found it difficult to explain to social media why I struggled with years of low self-esteem and anorexia, or why I would lament my singleness in life.
So I let it go….I discontinued sharing such things, deciding that the world was better off not knowing. Because if we all struggle with the same things, what’s the point in being another voice amid billions of others?
But on New Years Eve, as I reread my blogs from so long ago, I reflected on all of the pain I felt – as well as the hope. God had and has been working on me, and re-reading my own euphoric moments reminded me that – He is not finished with me yet. And if what He has done in my life could encourage someones – anyone – I decided it would be worth it.
My old site was originally called Morning Coffee, but I’ve changed it to A New Song. I pulled this from a Psalm in the Bible:
“Sing a new song to the LORD; sing to the LORD, all the earth.”
~Psalm 96:1 (HCSB)
I hope that each and every day, I can sing to Him a new song – that I will praise Him for His marvelous works He has done. My life continually unfolds like a new melody, and I cannot wait to hear the next verse, the next chorus, until I finally come to the conclusion, in which all things will finally resolve.